Finding Yourself When You Feel Lost
The idea of finding yourself seems outdated and a little non-sensical. In a literal sense, you can’t lose yourself because you’re always with yourself. But jokes aside, I understand it’s a metaphor for figuring out who you are and what you want in life.
In that sense, finding yourself should be a natural thing.
- Exploring what peaks your curiosity
- Engaging in things that you like
- Actively being who you want to be around others
- Living by what you feel matters most
Simple, right? Ok, maybe a little bit challenging. At least it’s boiled down to a formula you can follow. These are all actions I took to get some clarity on those “who I am” and “what I want” thoughts in my mind.
I can still remember not knowing what I wanted to do after I graduated high school and college. I also felt this feeling all throughout my 20’s and even still sometimes now.
And being who I want to be is still an up and down battle every now and then. I can say I’m more comfortable with myself now than I have been in years past.
The journey of finding yourself is about looking beyond societal expectations. You have to think about what really matters to you. As you reflect on these things and participate in life, you can gain more clarity.
I will walk you through some tips to find yourself. This exploration will inspire you to live more intentionally and with greater confidence.
10 Tips For Finding Yourself
1. Understand Your Core Values
Your core values are the foundational beliefs that guide your actions and decisions. It’s your compass to navigate life with a sense of purpose and integrity.
When you live in alignment with your values, you can potentially have a greater sense of fulfillment. One study I found showed that certain religious groups experienced higher levels of life satisfaction.
You can spend time reviewing religious texts or philosophical works. You can see what ideas resonate with you. There may even be some beliefs you already have.
Consciously choose actions that reflect what you believe. For me, I believe in being kind and treating people right. I actively strive to do that in all my social interactions.
2. Practice Self-Reflection
Self-reflection isn’t hard. You just examine your thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s like a quiet conversation with yourself.
I’m always thinking about whether I still want to pursue goals I once had. I’m always pondering if I’m living up to what I believe to be a good way to live. This time I spend re-evaluating helps me fine tune what I do on a daily basis to get where I want to be.
Spend time reflecting through sitting and thinking or just journaling. You can process your experiences and gain some deeper understanding that leads to personal growth.
3. Live in the World
Finding yourself is more than just a theoretical exercise. The answers can’t always come to us in our head. I’ve found when I’m an active participant in the world, I realize more things about myself.
I see that I can handle more than I think and see how much I’ve grown. Spend time getting out more.
Go on a trip to another town and see a place you haven’t been to before. Connect with people you haven’t connected with in awhile over a meal.
4. Practice Mindfulness
I’d say not letting intrusive thoughts cloud your head makes it easier to find yourself. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment.
It involves observing your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they happen. Researchers have found can help reduce rumination and negative thoughts.
Being mindful is as simple as focusing on your breath for a few minutes. These small acts of can help quiet the mental chatter and allow you to be more present.
5. Stepping Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Seek out new experiences to see how you respond to them. You may not always respond in the way you hoped, but at least you gain experience. That experience might help you do better next time.
I recently auditioned to be on a game show. I was nervous at first, but after going through the quick interview process, I was proud of the way I handed myself.
Given I’m more introverted, sometimes I go out of my way to make conversation with people. It’s kind of a way to flex my personality muscle and see how comfortable I am with myself.
Each time you challenge yourself, you can become more confident at handling future challenges. You gain life lessons and learn to trust yourself more.
6. Evaluating Your Relationships
The people you surround yourself with most have an impact on your sense of self. Good relationships support your growth and help you to become the best version of yourself. Negative relationships drain your energy and make you question your worth.
Take a close look at the relationships in your life. Consider which ones leave you feeling energized and which ones leave you feeling depleted. It is important to invest your time and energy in people who uplift you.
Negative relationship quality was found to be a predictor of poor well-being. Setting boundaries and distancing yourself from negative influences is necessary. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can help reinforce a positive self-image.
7. Spend Time Alone
You can’t always engage with the things you like around other people. I’ve found when I have time alone, I can focus more on the topics and activities I like. I think engaging with those things helps you to be more connected with yourself.
In a world that constantly demands our attention, solitude gives you a necessary space for rejuvenation. The time you can have by yourself could be early in the morning when no one else is awake.
Just give yourself a few minutes to be with you and do you. Enjoying your own company is a good way to love yourself.
8. Setting Personal Goals
Setting personal goals helps to give your life direction. These goals should reflect what you value and enjoy. They can guide your actions and help you create a life that feels meaningful to you.
You can think about different areas of your life, such as career, health and relationships. I’ve thought about these things a lot myself. I’ve found the more that I know what goals I’m striving for, the less I’ve felt unsure about what actions to take in life.
I write down a plan and start making moves. With each small step of achievement I feel more motivated.
9. Letting Go of the Past
Past experiences are part of what influence who we are. But they don’t necessarily have to be what defines our future. Holding onto failures or hurts can make it harder to focus on moving forward.
By choosing to let the past go, you free up energy to focus more on the present. Spending time with counselor might help you process negative emotions associated with your past.
What you experienced in the past may have been painful, but you’re still here. You can still do things today that can make your future better.
10. Embrace Your Uniqueness
We live in a world that constantly tries to make us conform to the latest norms. I’m sure you’ve had the experience of people picking on you for being different in some way. But your uniqueness is a part of being who you are.
If you like something, then be confident saying you like it. If you dress a certain way or act a certain way, be okay with that. As long as you’re not harming anyone else, then you’re fine.
All of these tips I’ve provided are designed to help you bridge the gap between your inner self and your outer life. Finding yourself is a combination of reflection and action. You don’t need a grand plan to get started, you just need to take the first step.
Just choose one tip from my guide to get started. Then just stay consistent. Over time you can be more of who you want to be and know exactly what you want out of life.
