36 Life Lessons From 36 Years of Living

I feel like I’ve learned a lot in my 36 years on this planet. If you’ve been searching for a roadmap, I hope these life lessons are a compass for your journey. It covers everything from building relationships and having confidence to finding purpose and embracing change.

Life Lessons To Live By

1. Prioritize Your Wellness

You can’t be good for others or the planet, if you’re not good to yourself first. The only thing that should come before yourself (if you’re a person of faith) is God. But otherwise, your physical and mental well-being should be the foundation of everything you do.

Not taking care of yourself makes it difficult to pursue your goals, maintain relationships, or find joy. It’s hard for me to get anything done when I’m not feeling my best. It’s important to make conscious choices every day to nourish your body and mind.

A simple way to start is adopting basic good habits, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet and sufficient rest. A comfortable mattress can help with the resting.

Here are some other good habits that Harvard Health recommends. You can help yourself have the energy needed to tackle whatever comes your way.

2. Embrace Lifelong Learning

My whole career has had nothing to do with what I learned in college. I learned a new field that barely existed when I was growing up. Had I not, I don’t know if I’d be where I am today. The world is constantly changing.

Take time to read books, explore online forums and probe the experiences of others. Every piece of knowledge adds to your toolkit. It can also make you more able to have different conversations with people.

The right new piece of information you learn could open the door to opportunities you didn’t imagine before. If nothing else, it at least can help keep your mind active and sharp.

3. Value Experiences Over Material Possessions

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve cared less about getting physical gifts for my birthday. It’s hard for me to pick out something I’d want if I was forced to buy something. My joys have come more from enjoying different experiences.

Like living in a different city, traveling to places I’ve never been, or just experiencing something new. These are the memories that stay in my mind.

Shifting your focus from possessions to experiences can help you appreciate the present moment. My experiences have challenged my perspective on life and built up my character.

4. Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others

I don’t know if it’s just another getting older thing, but I feel less need to hold grudges anymore. I also try to be less hard on myself about my mistakes. At the end of the day, people are flawed.

I’m trying to do the best I can with what I know. I choose to give other people that same benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it releases emotional burdens we feel in life. You at least have less energy being drawn away from you.

I’ve read somewhere before that self-compassion can be good for you. There are some good studies out there about it.

5. Failure Is Part of Success

I failed to get a job for many years, I failed to get a relationship for many years. But with persistent, I’ve had multiple jobs and multiple relationships. Each failed interaction probably helped me get better.

One of my favorite lessons on failure is a video I saw many years ago. It highlighted multiple people who failed early in life but went on to succeed. Some of the greatest achievers in history, such as Michael Jordan and Abraham Lincoln.

The best way to handle failure is to learn from it. Figure out what you can improve on, and practice for the next time you get an opportunity.

6. Nurture Your Meaningful Relationships

I read some Harvard research years ago about living a long life. It noted that one of the greatest factors that affects our longevity is relationships. And it’s not just having them, but having ones that actually make us happy. Obviously a relationship that brings us mostly stress probably won’t be good for us.

Invest time and energy in the people who support you. Figure out a way to cut out the people who only bring you down. Meaningful connections can be a source of strength and joy throughout your life.

But having a good relationship involves providing a good relationship. Make sure you’re doing your part to be there for people when they need it. Go out of your way to bring joy in the people in your life. You might be surprised how much of it you end up getting back.

7. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

When I moved to Las Vegas a few years ago for a job, it was a big step out of my comfort zone. I spent most of my life in a medium-sized city. But by stepping out of my comfort zone, I learned I was even more capable of managing things than I thought.

I’m much more confident about taking on new adventures and challenges now. You may find you feel the same if you take a chance once in awhile.

Start with small steps, like trying a new hobby or speaking to a stranger. Each time you push your boundaries, you can prove to yourself that you are more capable than you thought.

8. Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude is one of those lessons I still have to work on from time to time. But I’m definitely more appreciative of the life that I have now than I have been in the past. But I’m even looking back at the past, I see many situations I’m fortunate to have had.

A supportive family, a stable household, time to find my way in life and so much more. Countless research has shown that gratitude enhances our well-being. You can write down what you’re grateful for everyday, or just stop to appreciate something in this moment.

9. Learn to Manage Your Finances

Through being mindful of my finances, I’ve always found a way to make sure I have enough. With so much of life circumstances being controlled money, this has to be a necessity. And today there are so many resources available to us.

Understanding how to budget, save and invest your money empowers you to build the life you want. Not managing your finances can put you at risk of more stress and limited choices.

You can start by creating a simple budget to track your income and expenses. Smart financial decisions is tied to self-care just like eating well and getting rest.

10. Be Present in the Moment

The past can haunt us, and the future can worry us. Anytime you’re experiencing either one of those, it’s a good idea just to stop, close your eyes, and take a breath. I like to do this along with focusing on the feelings of my senses.

I take note of what I hear, what I smell and what I feel. According to an American Psychological Association article, mindfulness has been proven to help reduce stress.

When you get a chance, look up Autogenic Training as well. It was something I never heard of most of my life, but I found helpful to me from time to time.

11. Be An Active Listener

Perhaps we’re all guilty of listening only to wait for when we can respond. But as cliche as it sounds, it is important to make people feel like they’re heard. Another way of putting it is just making people feel like they have your attention.

It can be as simple as asking questions out of curiosity. You could also try to repeat what you heard in your own words to show you understand what they’re saying. Listening and being responsive to what people are saying has usually worked out well for me.

12. Know Your Personal Values

I’ve found I tend to feel better about myself when I live by principles I believe in. Not everyone make agree with my beliefs, but that’s ok. As long as I feel good within myself, I think I’m doing alright.

Think about what matters to you when it comes to how you live and how you treat people. If you’re unsure what’s important, reading religious text can be a helpful guide.

13. Embrace Change as an Inevitable Part of Life

Something unexpected tends to come up at inconvenient times. How you respond to it will go a long way to getting through it. You may get a little frustrated, which is natural. I find it’s best just to focus on looking for solution and not overreacting.

Losing your cool only prolongs the frustration, and delays us from finding a solution to move forward. The unexpected is also what makes life interesting I suppose. If nothing else, it might make for a good story to laugh about with someone later.

14. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

The beauty of having a community and resources available to us, we don’t have to figure everything out alone. If there’s something you’re not sure about or don’t know, you can just ask for help.

The worst that could happen is the person you ask may not be able to help. But maybe they’ll know someone who can. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether you need advice or emotional support, people are usually more willing to help than you think.

15. Celebrate Small Wins

When I’m working towards something, I appreciate every small win I can get. Knowing I’m inching one step closer to what I want makes me more motivated to keep going. Spend time acknowledging the things that are going well for you.

It could be a new sale you made or a date you’ve scheduled. I think it makes the moment you reach that big success you’ve been waiting for even better.

16. Set Healthy Boundaries

With quickly how I’ve seen 36 years go by, I’ve realized life is too short to constantly deal with negativity. Some situations are difficult to navigate. If you can’t completely cut someone out who doesn’t treat you well, do your best to limit them access to you.

You deserve people who actually care about how you feel and make an effort to respect those feelings.

17. Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

You can actively influence the way you feel at any given moment. It doesn’t require another person. Take time to do activities that make you feel good. Engage passions or pursuits that make life worthwhile for you.

While others can contribute to your joy, you are ultimately responsible for your own mindset. Empower yourself by taking ownership of your emotional well-being.

18. Let Go of What You Cannot Control

There are a lot of things you can’t completely control. For example, you can do things that influence how people react, but you can’t completely control it. Sometimes people will just feel how they feel no matter way.

You can let that go and just focus on controlling how you feel and how you react. I can’t control how other people react. The same is the case for many other things in life. It’s better to just focus on doing your best everyday and taking care of yourself.

19. Trust Your Intuition

I’m probably not the best person to ask about intuition. I’m honestly still not too sure about it. But I will say, I do think sometimes it’s good to just trust yourself.

Trust that you can make the best decisions for yourself. If you believe in God, trust that you’ll see the things you need to see to know what path you should take. It’s comforting feeling to believe that everything will work out for the best for you.

20. Be Kind to Everyone You Meet

I just try to be good to people as best as I can. I know life isn’t easy, and so many people are stressed out these days. It doesn’t cost you anything just to say something kind or do something kind.

Honestly, I really do believe when you do good for others, it does come back ground towards you. I saw something fall out of someone’s bag once in crowded room. I immediately picked it up and rushed to the person to make sure they got it back.

A former co-worker was let go at a previous place I worked. I went out of my way to text them how much I appreciated having them workplace, and I think it was something that they appreciated. If nothing else, being kind can be mentally good for you.

21. Invest in Your Personal Growth

I’ve gone way to go to therapy just to hear a different perspective or learn something that can help me. It’s a good thing to take an opportunity to do things that can help you grow.

You can spend time reading new books or taking an exercise class. We only have one life, so why not commit to becoming the best version of ourselves.

22. Learn to Be Alone

I’m more than on the introverted side, so this is admittedly not something hard for me to do. It’s a fun experience for me to spend time with my own thoughts and enjoying my interests. You could spend time doing the same for yourself as well.

The people you care about in life aren’t going anywhere. And you don’t always need them to enjoy your time. Learning to enjoy your own company can help build emotional independence. It’s a chance for you to connect with the things that make you who you are.

23. Choose Your Friends Wisely

I’m lucky to say I’ve never really had bad friends in life. The people I surrounded myself were always there for me and supportive of me. Those are the kind of people you should choose to have in your life. I think your friends should be people you share some interests with but are unique in their own way.

24. Don’t Compare Your Journey to Others

In my 20’s, practically everyone around me seemed to be living the life they wanted except me. But my time came when it was supposed to come. And some of the people I looked at as living their own lives like I wish I did haven’t turned out so well.

And honestly, there lives will probably turn around at some point. But there time was there time, and my time was my time. Be grateful for your own timeline in life, be grateful for what you have working for you, and trust that it’s all going to work out for the best.

25. Take Calculated Risks

Living in Vegas, you become more of a risk-taker than you probably should be at times. But there’s nothing wrong with taking calculated risks. It was a risk to move here, but to this point, it’s risk that’s paid off in more ways than I imagined.

But the key word here is calculated. You have to measure the pros and cons, and you have to make sure you’re prepared for the cons when they come.

Think about our human ancestors. They took risks exploring the world and discovering things. Sometimes taking a risk can open you up to great things happening.

26. Live With Integrity

I feel like the older you get, the higher expectations people have you. A hallmark of being a grown adult is living with integrity.

Living with good character and being the example of what humans should be. Having integrity earns people trust and can influence the people around us to be better.

Even when others not acting the way I feel like people should act, I always try to be the adult. Not to be better than one, but just because I believe it’s the right thing to do.

27. Express Your Creativity

Though I’m not as musically inclined as I once was, I still look back with fond memories of those days. I played guitar and wrote songs that I felt proud of. Exploring your creative side can also be a great escape from the stress of the world.

Maybe you can spend time drawing or painting. Whatever you do, finding time to be creative can be a good way to just relax for a moment.

28. Practice Patience

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that if you just wait long enough, good things can happen. We live in a world that craves instant gratification, but most things worth having take time.

Patience is about being calm in the face of delays or challenges. It’s a skill that allows you to work toward long-term goals.

There will be setbacks and slow periods on any meaningful journey. Trust the process and believe that your consistent efforts will eventually pay off.

29. Declutter Your Life

Clutter, both physical and mental, can drain your energy. Regularly decluttering your space and your mind gives you more room for peace. A simplified environment can lead to a simplified life.

Start with your physical space, letting go of items you no longer need or love. This article on building a capsule wardrobe might help.

Apply the same principle to your mental space by letting go of negative thought patterns. Less clutter means more room for what truly matters.

30. Be a Giver, Not Just a Taker

Look for opportunities to give your time, skills or resources without expecting anything in return. It can allow you to forget your problems for a moment and at least make someone else’s problems a little easier.

31. Make Peace With Your Past

Some of us hold on to the past because of the mistakes we’ve made. Others of us wish we could relive times that are long gone. Make peace with it.

Appreciate the good memories you had, but recognize there can be more to come. And of course as expressed earlier, learn from your mistakes, and do better.

32. Understand the Power of Consistency

Small, consistent actions can lead to significant results. This can apply to finances, health, skills and relationships.

Don’t be discouraged by a lack of immediate results. Just focus on showing up every day and putting in the work.

33. Travel as Much as You Can

I was never much of a traveler growing up, but as I’ve traveled more, I’ve learned to really enjoy it. Traveling exposes you to new cultures, perspectives and ways of life.

You don’t need to go far. I’ve enjoyed just taking a drive out of town just to see somewhere new. This world has a whole lot of interesting things to see. You can enjoy seeing what it has to offer you.

34. Laugh Often and Freely

Like most people in their 20’s, I used to take life pretty seriously. But now I’ve learned to laugh more about things and just enjoy life.

Find the humor out of things so you’re not so weighed down by life. It’s a simple and free way to experience joy.

35. Define Your Own Success

Having a house, a spouse and kids doesn’t have to be everybody’s version of success. Your success could just be having the freedom to do the things you want in life.

True success is personal and should be defined by your own values and aspirations. Create a definition that aligns with what brings you fulfillment.

36. Live Slow And With Urgency

It’s a balance that’s a challenge to maintain. We should live with an urgency of wanting to make things happen in good time. And then sometime, we need to remember to slow down and appreciate things.

It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been years since I graduated high school and college. This life really does go by in a flash when you’re not paying attention. Push hard to be successful, but remember to stop enjoy each a day of this journey.

As I venture towards the next year of my life, I’m sure more lessons will come up. I hope the ones you’ve read today will help you as much as they’ve helped me.